That's what a hamburger's all about

During the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of high school I stopped eating red meat.

It was for no other reason than "just because," really. My dad had moved to California a couple years prior and at some point had given up red meat because everyone in California doesn't eat something, and I think he wanted to test his will power. So that summer I decided I would, too.

I learned that being a "poultritarian" is rather nice. It allows for nearly all the smugness of being a vegetarian, but with a lot more menu options. Plus, no worries about Mad Cow disease!

In the first few months I had some cravings--and even some relapses--but I quickly realized I could live without red meat. Soon the cravings became rare (ha!), and the ones I did have usually involved unexpected and rather disgusting things like Arby's roast beef sandwiches or Taco Bell. But I never gave in, and never really missed it.

Today, though, after not having eaten red meat for 17 years, I had a hamburger.

Why? Well, it wasn't to satisfy a craving as much as a curiosity.

You see, I had never had an In-N-Out Burger. To most Southern Californians--even some vegetarians I know--that would be considered blasphemy. In-N-Out has a cult following among...well, just about everyone. When people leave the west, In-N-Out is their first stop as soon as they're back within range. It's that kind of place.

When we started preparing for this journey of ours, I began to wonder what I was missing out on. How could I leave California without ever having tasted one of the state's unofficial-official foods?

Plus I realized that eating red meat again would make sense if we're going to experience the culinary treasures of different regions. What if I want a buffalo burger in Wyoming? I mean, I can't imagine that I would want a buffalo burger in Wyoming, but shouldn't I leave the option open?

I also know from past road trips that not all parts of the country are hospitable to non-beef-eaters. Once at a diner in Shamrock, Texas, I ordered the only "safe" option on the menu: cheese enchiladas. They came smothered in meat sauce.

So, it made sense to start eating beef again, and if I was going to do it, it would start at In-N-Out. Steve and I had talked about going for several weeks and finally decided to today. (Steve hadn't eaten red meat since we started seriously dating, so this was a big step for him, too.)

Before we got there I perused In-N-Out's "secret menu" online. I didn't want to look like a novice, after all. I ordered a cheeseburger with grilled onions and pickles (plus the standard toppings of lettuce, tomato, and "sauce"), and an order of fries, cooked "light-well" (more fried than normal, but not completely incinerated).

I half-expected that I'd realize how tasty beef is and devour the whole thing in one bite. I half-expected I'd throw up. Neither happened.

The burger was good. Very good, actually, especially for fast-food. Not "oh-my god-I-can't-believe-I've-gone-17-years-without-eating-this" good, but "I-see-the-appeal-and-will-likely-partake-again-someday" good.

One chapter in my life closes, and a new, higher-cholesterol one begins. I don't imagine that beef will become a regular staple of my diet, but when a craving strikes, I will sate it. When a regional dish beckons, I will answer the call.

Rocky Mountain Oysters, though, are definitely out.